I absolutely love nerding out on ancient philosophy 🤓, and lately, I’ve been immersing myself in the profound world of Stoicism. Even though I’m no longer coaching and focusing on new projects, I’ve been itching to write again. I’m excited to jump back in, sharing insights on how ancient wisdom can be used to navigate the modern dating world.
Let’s dive back in together, shall we?
In the fast paced world of modern dating, it’s easy to feel disillusioned and downright hopeless when things don’t go your way. In this short blog post, I share some ancient Stoic wisdom can be your guiding star, lighting the way towards a fulfilling love life and a more peaceful inner world.
1. Know What You Can Control
Stoics strive to exercise self-control to resist impulses that are not aligned with reason and virtue. This means taking conscious effort to avoid being swayed by external influences and emotions that can lead to irrational choices and behavior.
In the dating scene, there are things you can control, like your reactions and the boundaries you set, and things you can’t, such as others’ actions or feelings. Focus on positively shaping your actions and responses, and let go of trying to control the uncontrollable.
2. Daily Reflection
Daily reflection is a central practice in Stoicism, helping individuals assess their actions and thoughts critically. This reflection is aimed at mastering consistency in virtuous behavior and personal growth.
In Stoicism, virtue means being the best version of yourself, focusing on qualities like wisdom, courage, and self-control. When you’re dating, this could look like not getting too carried away when you meet someone new, and instead taking time to really get to know the person and see if you’re a good match. It’s like putting on the brakes a bit to avoid rushing into something that might not be right for you.
A consistant daily Stoic habit of checking in with oneself can help build a strong and healthy relationship that lasts.
3. Find Happiness Within
Before searching for joy in a partner, cultivate your own happiness. You can indulge in hobbies that resonate with you, be it painting, picking up a new book, hiking, or playing a musical instrument, nurturing a life rich in experiences and personal fulfillment. This ability to find happiness within not only creates a strong foundation for your own well-being but also attracts men who appreciate your independence and zest for life.
Before seeking joy and fulfillment from a partner, learn to be happy with yourself. Remember, a partner is there to complement you, not to complete you. Find your peace and joy within, and you’ll bring that into your relationship too.
4. Build Resilience
Whenever you experience disappointments, remember the Stoic principle of resilience. It’s not about finding just any partner but the right partner. Start by developing a resilient mindset that takes setbacks and uses them as stepping stones to evolve and grow, always moving closer to the person who is truly meant for you.
Dating can bring disappointments, but remember, it’s all about finding the right match, not just any match. Develop a resilient mindset that helps you bounce back from disappointments without losing hope and shutting down emotionally.
5. Make Wise Choices
Step into the dating scene with clear thinking and careful consideration. For instance, before jumping on Tinder and blindly swiping, you could spend some time reflecting on what values and qualities are truly important to you in a partner.
Remember, it’s completely fine to have dates that don’t lead to a romantic relationship. The goal is to make decisions that resonate with your personal values and to clear the way for a relationship that is both fulfilling and aligned with who you are.
6. Enjoy the Journey
Remember, the journey towards finding love should be as valuable as the destination itself. To enjoy this journey mindfully, perhaps you might start a practice where you consciously focus on the present moment during each date, truly connecting with the person in front of you snd the experiences without worrying too much about the future outcome.
This approach helps in building authentic connections, allowing you to fully appreciate the unique tapestry of experiences that the dating world offers, free from undue stress and anxiety.
Navigating the modern dating world doesn’t have to be stressful. By applying these Stoic principles, you can date with a positive, resilient, and hopeful outlook, ready to find a love that complements you. Remember, it’s all about growing, learning, and moving closer to finding a partner who truly resonates with you.
So go out there, and happy dating!
xo Alexis
What do you think?