Situationships can be described as doing all of the relationship activities such as, spending time, being intimate and sharing secrets without any official title. Basically, doing all the “real relationship ” stuff, without the “romantic relationship title” or exclusivity. A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship.
But the real reason situationships get tricky is when one of the parties secretly wants “more”, as in a real relationship title or exclusivity or, more commonly: assumes the situationship is an exclusive relationship.
Situational relationships, also referred to as “situationships” by millenials are becoming more common and even more confusing.
After many requests, I decided to write an article explaining what a situationship is and how you can spot immediately if you are stuck in one.
Elaborating on my previous definition, the main problem with those women that come to me for help is that many of them are not even aware of the fact that they are in a situationship!
So without further delay… what are the top 5 signs that you might be entertaining a situationship?
Sign #1: You don’t talk about the future
This is the most obvious sign, as a man with a plan to lock you down will slowly bring up the “exclusivity talk” in one way, shape or form.
If you find yourself trying to bring the topic of the future for discussion, a situationship companion will usually either dismiss, ridicule, delay or completely ignore this.
This means that you might feel like you are left in the dark, trying to figure out where the relationship is going.
One big mistake that women make, is that they try to jump trough hoops, change their sense of self and neglect their boundaries to try and seduce their partner into seeing their worth.
Young women who make this mistake are prone to develop anxiety when it comes to dating and can end up being a in a situationship where they are left in the dark.
Not only is this frustrating, but being in situationships can be incredibly scarring to your self worth and make you anxious and paranoid in your future relationships.
Bringing the fresh emotional scars of a situationship into a new healthy relationship can actually scar your ability to trust and be in your relaxed energy.
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Sign #2: You don’t know each other’s friends
Unlike a real relationship, in a situationship you might not meet his friends or family members.
This means that, most of the time spent together is inside, or out on dates in places where he not likely to have to instroduce you to the important people in his life.
And for those women in situationships that DO accidently meet his friends and family: be ready for a ride to awkward town… where he can introduce you by your name, as a “friend” or completely ignore you while talking to this person.
I have had women tell me that they spent several month in a situationship, thinking it was a relationship until they bump into his friends and get introduced as a “friend” – ouch!
What follows is usually a fight in which you try to understand the status of your relationship, which might not be the type of coversation you were expecting to have!
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Sign #3: You’re basically single during important events
If you had a beloved pet die or lost your job or any other life changing events, in a situationship these events can feel incredibly lonely.
Usually these types of life-changing events are a great opportunity to see the depth of your relationship, or have your relationship flourish to deeper levels.
Even in the early stages of a high value relationship, should you experience hardship: your partner would usually show his support early on.
In a situationship, you might feel like your partner completely ignores these events or avoid being a part of them altogether.
This also counts for events such as your birthday, your best friends wedding or you celebrating an important milestone in your career.
Situationship prone men tend to try to keep their relationships superficial, worry free and not too complicated.
For an emotionally unavailable man, being there for you during times or hardship or celebrating witn you might be considered “too much”.
This type of man usually wants to enjoy all of the benefits of a real relationship without the “burdens”.
For a high value man, these events will never be seen as a burden; but rather an opportunity to be there for you.
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Sign #4: He’s not “ready”
A man prone to leading women into “situationships” usually keep doing relationship-like activities, but keep saying he is not “ready” to take it to the next level.
Usually any attempts to talke about a committed relationship or exclusivity are met with indifference, avoidance or outright gaslighting.
Especially the gaslighting can be damaging to your mental health.
Gaslighting, even if you might think is not a big deal: is form of abuse that involves a person deliberately causing someone to doubt themselves.
Diversion is one of the gaslighting tactics used when you might be asking for clarity on the relationship status or where the relationship is going.
The gaslighting will keep you second guessing wether you are even worthy of being in a relationship in the first place, and can cause you to feel anxious and powerless.
With diversion, the man will avoid having the talk under the pretense that it is “not the right time” to discuss your concerns.
A note of caution: diversion must not be misunderstood with a man actually not being ready to discuss the relationship because you are in the early stages of your relationship.
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Sign #5: They’re seeing other people
A major indicator of being in a situationship is when one of the partners is openly seeing other people.
While this seems obvious, we must understand that this usually goes hand in hand with gaslighting tactics such as diversion and trivialization.
Trivalization is when the gas-lighter makes someone’s concerns seem unimportant or irrational.
For example: you might have a suspicion of him seeing other people, but he never truly admits to this.
Instead, he will make you feel crazy for even thinking he seeing others, while completely avoiding your questions.
Take the quiz: What are your subconscious relationship blockages?
How can you get from Situationship to a long term, committed and high value relationship?
From all of the women I’ve helped step out of a long streak of situationships, the easiest way to get there is to work on yourself first and foremost.
Start Creating Healthy Love Today By Discovering Your Relationship Blockages
We all have unique relationship blockages to how we relate to dating, marriage, and love in general…
When you discover your unique Relationship Blockages, you can…
- Free yourself from neediness and looking to a partner to make you feel whole.
- Stop being “too nice”.. hold natural boundaries while being your most loving, attractive, & magnetic self.
- Attract a high value man who truly loves & respects you. (Transform your current relationship, or discover the new love of your life.)
First Step? Discover YOUR unique Relationship Blockages… after taking the quiz you will receive a custom e book outlining how you can overcome these blockages:
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Hope this helps you on your journey of becoming your best, most radiantly magnetic self!
Light and love!
Rick
September 8, 2021I always advise viewers and email subscribers to my relationship blogs that the situation may not be right for him to cultivate a meaningful, healthy relationship with you. No matter how much 1) chemistry 2) compatibility you share it won’t last if the 3) relationship environment/circumstances are off He just isn’t ready for a relationship.