I was sitting at the W in South Beach Miami (highly recommended!), waiting for my partner when this topic came to me.
So many of the women before I start working with with have one thing in common:
These women willingly sacrifice their happiness “now”, for the promise of more happiness later.
We can see it in the many facebook groups: so many women seem confused, seeking answers as to what they are doing “wrong”.
They believe that a change in their looks, speech or mannerism will bring them happiness.
Even if the said changes do not feel good or authentic, they proceed in the hopes of “striking gold”; being liked, loved and worthy.
I have seen these types of women change style, voice intonation and character; only to feel more lost, unloved and miserable.
Well, if these changes will not help, what will?
If a change in looks, speech and mannerisms were all it took to feel confident, empowered and loved; why does the journey seem never ending?
Why does it seem like we are never really “there”, that it is almost in our grips; easily slipping out of our fingers?
As a woman that can relate to this, you might find yourself constantly jumping on the next bandwagon in the hopes that this “golden key” will help you become the type of woman that can do no wrong.
What if I told you that outer changes do not bring lasting results?
At this pint, I can already feel the eyes rolling while reading this.
Stay with me, here. I promise this post will help shed light on something extremely valuable.
If it was only the outer that would bring about that adoration you so much desire, how come there are so many beautiful women that are unhappy?
Don’t believe me?
Trust me, as a woman who has worked with hundreds of women; many who were drop dead gorgeous.
The more women came to me, I can to the shocking revelation that there were two sides to us “women”.
The first side is our surface level self
This is the side that thrives off the the outer world, family, friends, social media.
As women we are pressured to make it seem like we have it all; the job, the husband, the perfect pet, the perfect body, the perfect family and the perfect social feed.
In the pursuit of this perfection, we bend over backwards and to do what we think is necessary to obtain and “keep” this praise, love and validation.
In this domain, it is extremely important that our lives look perfect to others, so that we receive praise and validation.
The surface level self is that voice that tells you to do “more”, that you are not worthy, that nobody loves you etc.
The surface level self is actually quite hard to please, cruel and unaccepting.
It tells you to do “more”, yet at the same time heavily criticizes all of your efforts.
Yet in reality, because of the surface level self; many women feel unfulfilled, unloved and un-praised.
In the fear of rejection from others, everything in their power is done to maintain this side happy; even if it costs you your own happiness.
And as a coach that helps women realize their inner magnetism, I can tell you that living in the domain of the surface level self is the easiest way to burn out, become depressed and unhappy.
So, if the one side can leave us in a ditch, what is this “other side”?
The other side is our true inner self: here lie our true desires, unexplored.
The inner voice is the voice of your intuition.
It is the voice that calls you to your purpose, drive and life path.
The inner self is the domain of your untapped potential.
You might say: Lexi, what potential?
Well, it is hard to find your potential while living for the surface level self.
The surface level self is the domain of confusion, worry, seeking validation and copying others in the hope of fitting in.
In the inner domain lies your true voice, true power and true potential.
This voice is the voice that quetly whispers for you to try things that you never thought possible.
And when you do this, this voice will guide you instead of breaking you own.
Following this voice will make you feel alive, fulfilled and worthy.
Because this voice thrives off YOU being happy.
What happens when we listen to and start living from this voice is miraculous.
You become a magnet to everything that is GOOD and feels good.
And guess what? Listening to this voice means that you will start doing the things that make YOU happy.
Do you know what follows when you do this?
People cannot help but be drawn to a woman that puts herself and her happiness first.
People, situations, things… everything is drawn to a woman that steps in her power, out of the box and into her zone of excellence.
It is these types of women that make history, make a difference and uplift others to join them in their journey.
These are the type of women that are not afraid of competition, are confident and authentic.
These are the type of women that attract men without trying, promotions without doing to much work and generosity without begging.
I want you to ask yourself this: is it really noble to sacrifice your happiness “now”, for the promise of more happiness later?
Especially if this happiness is in the hands of others?
Is it not time to make your happiness a priority?
Are you ready to become a woman that can do no wrong?
This blog, my Facebook group and Youtube videos are a great place to get started on your journey.
Yet, doing this by yourself (as I did) can take a bit of time.
If you want to get there faster, reach out to me and see how we can work together to get you there faster.
But one thing is certain: wether I help you or not; the inner voice reveals itself to someone who is ready to let go of her surface level self.
Light and love,
Alexis Glam
What do you think?