Just yesterday, I posted a reel on the @alexisglamofficial Instagram describing the difference between a man desiring you and a man completely committing you you. The post seems to have raised a bit of confusion, so in this blog post I hope to clarify this!
Understanding the difference will save you months, if not years of potential heartache.
As a woman who fell into the “desire” trap many many times, if I read this post a few years back it would have saved me a lot of emotional pain.
He Will Gladly Take What You Give
Men are simple creatures.
Oftentimes, they are simply accepting what we give them access to. But what do we “give” as women?
Let me illustrate this with an example of a girl named Sarah.
Sarah really likes Liam.
Sarah really wants to be exclusive with Liam.
So Sarah spends 2 years doing everything for Liam.
Liam is happy with Sarah’s cooking, cleaning, doting over him, preparing his lunch and sleeping over 5 nights a day at his house.
After the 2 year mark, Sarah is bewildered when he overhears him talking about her.
He said “I really like Sarah, but we are just casually dating at the moment. I am taking it one step at a time”.
Later that might, Sarah confronts Liam; “I did everything for you! I basically live in your house, I cook for you and I do EVERYTHING! And you can’t even call me your girlfriend?”.
“I’m sorry Sarah, I told you many times that I’m not ready for a serious relationship. I thought that was clear to you?!”.
Sarah thought that her overextending, caring, loving would be enough to “push” Liam to assume that she is his girlfriend.
And this is what I mean by “giving”. It actually means to “over-give” in the hopes of making a man commit.
You see ladies, men will gladly accept what we do to them, because.. why not?!
They see no harm in it!
And even so: if we pretend to do this because we “like to”, they assume this is what we mean.
Sarah Wanted To Win His Love By Giving More
And I don’t blame her.
As women, we see our mothers doing the exact same things for our fathers.
We think that giving is the way to getting the Relationship That We Want!
But the true question here is:
How Can We Spot Wether a Man is Committed to Us?
Let’s start with the simple basics:
- How does he make you feel?
- Do you feel looked after, cared for, cherished and adored?
- Does he ask you how you are doing?
- Does he make it a priority to make you happy?
- Is he involving you in his life decisions?
- Does he talk about the future and ask for your input?
- Does he listen to your needs and make sure that you are comfortable?
And here are some indicators of a man most probably not being committed to you:
- He makes you feel alone
- He makes you feel like a burden
- He doesn’t like it when you talk about “relationship things”
- He makes you jump trough hoops to “show that you are worthy”
- He makes gaslights you and makes you believe that wanting a relationship is bad
- He dangles exclusivity like a carrot “when the time is right” or “when he is ready”
As much as I tell women not to look too much at “red flags”, the key here is how he is making you feel.
If you connect to yourself and your feelings, you will quickly realize that the man in the second example is really not a nice guy.
Even if he were to “be exclusive with you”, your relationship experience is very likely to be a painful one.
Take a Look at My Free Workshop “The Secret To Attracting Lasting Love and Complete Adoration” by clicking the image link below:
Take care of your heart and be safe out there,
What do you think?